Primary Poetry

As my posts here and here tell you, I was honoured and delighted to be asked back to Humberston Academy during their Festival of Literature.  During our session with the students from four schools, I asked them to write some poems.  I thought about specifically asking them to create something that did not rhyme.  Something, perhaps, deeper than they’d normally do.  Rather than that, however, I asked them to have fun.  Be silly.  Be random.

I’d read some of my own to them – including a number from Zits’n’Bits – and I think this may have influenced some of their work (as my own ten year old daughter insists on saying: LOL).  I have to say I was impressed and caught up in their enthusiasm.  They pounced on the task and had a rowdy, exuberant time, it seemed.

Here’s their work.  In parts moving, hilarious and just plain weird.  My thanks to all of you who participated.  It was a pleasure.


Gabrielle Classen,
Middlethorpe Primary

They’re just like farts, burps, they are
They reek of garlic or beers from the bar
They’re a giveaway of what you’ve eaten
Some people have contests and most people are beaten
My brother will whisper, “Come over here”
Next thing I know, he’s burped in my ear!

We’re back at the Pear Tree, once again
I’ve brought some paper and a pen
I thought I’d record Dad being drunk
There’s a river over there
Off he goes, DUNK!
He came back, soaking wet
He’s a fish caught in a net
And I bet he’ll be drunk again.

Dogsy Farts
My dog’s, they are really bad
They’re worse than mine
And even my Dad’s

What’ll he do?
He’ll let one off
And stare at YOU!

He’ll plod along
And stare in disgust
I’ve sussed it out
When he lets one off

You need to leave the room!


Leonna Welsh

A Fish
A fish
Could be a wish
That you cook in a dish
And tastes delish!

You could wish for a shoe
That could do a million loos
You could wish for a monkey
That would throw his doodoo

He could hit me or you
Who knows what he could do?


Charlie Dixon

The Shark with One Toe
His toe is big
He has a wig
And plays with a pig

He runs around
In the playground
Now he’s on the rebound

His teeth are sharp
His name is shark
He never makes the least remark

The shark is black
He has a big back
And his best friend is Mac

He has the flu
He sounds like a moo
He only has one shoe


Harrison Moore

There was a grizzle bear
Who wore underwear
And there was a crazy moose
Who drank a lot of juice
And there was a cow
Who had a unibrow
There was a pig
Who like to play tig
There was a cat
Who was getting very fat
Then there was a fish
Who came served on a dish
And then there was a mole
Who lived in a hole!


There was a gingerbread
Who had a bed
KFC ate a tree
And gave it to my mum
McDonalds had a pet pig called Ronald
But he didn’t last very long
There was a chicken
Who got a treat
And it tasted very sweet
And that was wheat


Bailey Paton
Middlethorpe Primary

Hippies: What happened in December
I know a hippy
He always eats at the chippy
His house is very nippy
When he protests he gets lippy

Unfortunately he has  a bad smell
I think he is unwell
He likes to go busking
His raps are swell
However, one day
From a mountain he fell!

Yes, a mountain!  His amazing Hippy Base!


Now he is nearly dead
Because he landed on his head
All of his hair is crimson red
If only we cared about what we said


Next time I see
A hippy around me
I will remember
What happened last December


Emily Richardson

Mr Pig
Mr Pig had a wig
He put it on his head
He went to bed
With a dent in his head

Now he’s dead

Mrs Pig now has no husband
She’s very sad
And awfully mad
And threw the wig in the bin


Elle Newman

Miss Palmer
Miss Palmer, Miss Palmer
With her fuzzy hair
She knows what is
Fashionable to wear!

Harry Potter
Is her favourite book
She also is
A marvellous cook!

She is wearing a necklace
Around her neck
She absolutely detests
The House of ‘Beck’!

Athina, Athina
With long blonde hair
She is as cuddly
As a teddy bear

Abbie, Abbie
With a dimply on her cheek
She also is
A bit of a geek!

This is how it feels to be Georgey
This is how it feels to be small
This is how it feels
When you have no friends at all


Maya Hunter

Mr Pig
Mr Pig had a wig
He wore it for a gig
He went to bed
And bumped his head
He plays tig
And is named Stig
He laid dead on his bed
And went very red!


Athina Nimmie

Oranges are juicy
Oranges are tasty
They’re ever so sweet
And very, very neat
But get its juice in your eye
And you just might cry
So be ever so careful
When you peel
Because they don’t want
To be in your next meal!


Joe Robinson

Fishes in Your Sock
Fish, fish
Comes in a dish
It also was delish
It also goes with chips
Vinegar, salt and pepper too
Toppling and bounding is the fish
On the trampoling had a static shock
And the end in your sock
So be careful before you put your sock on!


Rhianna Thomas

A Wish!!!
A wish
Could be a fish
That you could cook in a dish
That would be delish

You could wish for a horse
That could win a racing course

Maybe even a pig
That loves a wig
And a good game of tig

What about a book
That could cook

Or a boat
That could stay afloat

A pen
That owned a hen

A duck
That loved muck

Possibly a fart
That owned racing carts

Maybe a tie
That loves eating pie

You could have fun
Playing in the sun

There’s no Time for a Rhyme
If you wasn’t allowed to rhyme
What would you do?

Maybe teach a fish
To bounce on a trampoline

Or watch a rabbit
Do a dance

Or a toe
That could catch


Charlie Curtis

Tig can be fun
To play in the sun with your friends
You can play it all day
And all bad thoughts would fly away

Run fast or slow
Who is ‘IT’?
I do not know
You can play or stay
See if I care
But if you play with a monster
You’re in for a scare!


Lauren Drewitt

Crispy, soft, fried and white
All the chickens shiver in fright
I eat their friends, I eat their foes
Even their eggs, as big as my toe

I eat their eggs and crispy skin
But their feathers get thrown in the bin
I eat their legs and their wings
Even the huge chicken king!
Chickens are delicious, it’s them I adore
But I’ll be back in a few
I’m off to get some more!

I’ve always wondered why... and how
In ‘Hey Diidle Diddle’
The cow jumps over the moon
How can cats play fiddles?
The dog laughed?
Can dogs laugh?
And how on Earth can cutlery run?
Society is messed up, that’s how
Children being lied to, I just don’t see how...
Let’s end this stupidity right now!


Elliot PACMAN (he signed the poem ‘Elliot’ and drew Pacman!)

The Table
A table site there
Holding an apple or a pear
Or maybe her friend chair
Who’s sitting next to her

The table is out
If she kicks you,
Have her GONE!!!

Her legs hold the board
And then she gets bored
She kicks your legs
With her metal legs

Put your food on this table
Or maybe a bike
It is able
It’s very stable


Amy Benson

How did the chicken cross the road?
Everyone expects tht he wanted to get to the other side
But, what if it didn’t want to get to the other side?
Have you ever thought
Maybe the chicken was finding a place to hide
Or was on a mission from the CIA
What if he was an astronaut
Looking for his spaceship?
Or maybe he was old and looking for a new hip?
A psycho killer on the loose
Looking for his friend, the goose?
But still poses the question
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I still don’t know
Maybe he did, after all
Want to get to the other side
I’ll leave the quesiton
You can decide


Ellie Booker
New Waltham Academy

I am Beyone
I was born to sin
Really I can do anything

I can sing
Have a laugh
Also have a bubble bath

I wear high heels
When I dance on stage
I dance that much
My heels fade

I sing, run the world
And end of time,
I can even actually make them rhyme!

I am Beyone
I was born to sin
Really I can do anything


Georgia Miller

My Dog
Mazie, my dog
Well, my puppy really
She’s fluffy and blonde
And so, so hairy
Her nose is everywhere
It shouldn’t be
She even once tried
To sniff a bee!
Her ears glop back and forth
When I see her run
She never stops
Her tail wagging
‘Cause she’s
Havin’ fun!

Hannah and Amethyst
Middlethorpe Primary

Monday Mornings
The alarm clock rings, as it does every morning
Oh no, it’s Monday, I lay groaning and yawning
I’d lay in bed, snoozing and snoring,
But I have to go to school; Oh it’s so boring

I get out of bed, get dressed, brush my hair
Then I go to the kitchen and sit on my chair
My brother is chomping – he’s already there
He’s so jolly and cheerful, but I sit and stare

Mum is nagging: “You’re gonna be late!”
So, without delay, I clear my plate
My brother is ready, though he looks a state
I can stand it no longer!  I run out the front gate

Finally, I arrive at the school front door
But my brother’s annoying, I can stand it no more
I run to class, though lessons are a bore
I slouch at my desk and begin to snore...

Class is over!  I run home screaming!
I hop into bed and start day dreaming
The trees are swaying, the sun is gleaming
The day is over!  Now I am beaming

The clock strikes midnight!  Monday is gone!
Tomorrow’s soon to come.  But for now I belong
In my bed, with my ted, singing a song
I do hate Mondays, but Tuesdays aren’t long.


Mary Horobin

It sounds absurd
But I wish I were a bird
Soaring with great wings
You’d hear my chirps as I sing

I’d join a flock
We’d whistle around the clock
And we’d fly all day
Dreaming our problems away

My voice among many
Singing my thanks
I could never drop like a penny
If I did, you’d give me a yank

Who doesn’t love spoons?
Easy to bust some tunes
Shiny and round
The best cutlery to be found
Making a twang
When you give them a bang
What a sound
A sound to astound!


Joanna Green

Have you ever been listening
To the trees then they are whistling
In the forest deep at night
Far away beyond your sight

They whistle and sway
And they live another day
In their forest far away
If only they could speak
I wonder what they’d say

I watch them in their wonder
When one gets hit by thunder
I stand frozen with fear
As the tree grows near

It crashes and falls
I feel ever so small
Since I am a leaf
Do you now feel my grief?

Plastic and wood
Metal or brick
You’d make us if ya could
Otherwise you would be thick

You need us chairs
For we run the world
We sit over there
And smile an you twirl


Alex Wainman

Pat the Cat
There once was a cat called Pat
He was very fat
If you rub his belly
He will do a smelly
So what do you think of that!

There was another catto
Who rolled in his poo
He hated Pat
And was called Matt


Jude de Jonge
Middlethorpe Primary

Tristan he’s the best
He lives in a nest
He loves spaghetti
And like confetti

Tristan uses hair gel
Because he likes the smell
If you rub his belly
He will eat jelly

The are more magical people
Like treacle
It tastes nice
Not like mice
Sometimes it’s in cake
Or in a lake
Now this is the nd


George Watts

There once was a girl called Ellie
She was a little bit smelly
She rolled orund in poo
Liked her own shoes
And now has a really bad belly!

There are other weird girls too
Like Athina, Lauren and Abbie
They all smell of poo
But they don’t have a clue
So I just leave them to smell and stew


Alex Formby

Once I met a sheep
Instead of bleating, he would go beep
Then he went stiff
And fell of a cliff
Never again did I hear him go beep

Once I met a mad cow
Instead of mooing, he would go meow
He passed some gas
And fell on the grass
Never again did I hear him go meow


Joel Mann

Michael the left nostril
Lieks to lick pies off the floor
He has a pet crow
Named Phillip Tangerine
Oh yeah
The crow is green

In a Swedish international
When it comes to inspecting floor tiles
Nobody beats me and my silver pen

I watch door handles sleep
Number 7 is Steven’s favourite
Shaun likes 9 and flourescent orange teeth

The eyelash detective stalks his prey
And wears angry cats on his head
While projecting a roar around his bathroom


Middelthorpe Primary

Hobos always smell
They never have any hair gel
If you see one
You’ll never want to be one
Some call them travellers
Always trying to be grovellers

He lives on a bus
Hs name is Gus
He’s never had a shower
He’s never been in power
Always a stealer
Avoiding a peeler

He had a pet rabbit
He always wants to grab it
He had a Swiss army knife
He used it on his wife
Once he won a light
‘Cos he won a fight


Lauren Fergusen
New Waltham Academy

My Dog’s Tongue
The pink, thin muscle that sits in my dog’s mouth
It’s so long, everyone can see it in my house

Tasting and tasting food after food
Exploring the tastes, whatever the mood

Never too wet or never too dry
It’s always popping out, it’s never shy

No-one knows how it stays in her mouth
I think it can reach as long as Louth!

Although it’s trapped in, it’s still determined
It still picks things up like a hoover or whirlwind

Although it’s pink and long as can be
It will always be special and cute to me!


Chamya A
New Waltham Academy
10 years old

Teddy Bears
Teddy bears on the stairs
Teddy bears in the room
Teddy bears in the cupboard
Teddy bears here and there

Teddy bears reading a book
Teddy bears sitting down
Teddy bears eating porridge
Teddy bears doing something

Teddy bears here and there
Teddy bears doing something
Teddy bears talkative
Now they are on my bed

How Silent!
It was so silent
I hear the page talk
It was so quiet
I hear the wind whistle
It was so silent
I hear the oak tree laugh
It was so quiet
I heard the table speak
It was so silent
I heard the clock tick tock
It was so quiet
I heard the birds sing lullabies
It was so silent
That I didn’t realise the time went by.


Danielle Tinsley
New Waltham Academy

A Lightbulb Named Pat
Click, clip, clap goes lightbulb Pat
Light, dark, light goes lightbulb Pat
Dot, dash, dot signals lightbulb Pat
A, dot, B signals lightbulb Pat
Left, right, left swings lightbulb Pat
Up, down, up swings lightbulb Pat
Burn out please lightbulb Pat

Dropped in Coke, sizzled up
Sucked in mouths, disappear
Wrapped in packets, sitting still

Rubbed on warts, going spotty
Forcedon verucas, becoming mould
Sothed on earwax, making plaque


New Waltham Academy

Mentoes and Coke
Mentoes and Coke are a dangerous mix
They’ll make and explosion that no-one will miss
The world will end
When the factories send
Two trucks with that cocktail
And hidden inside


Luke Piper

The Best Noise Ever
What do you think?
Dog, cat, platypus
Not even close
In my opinion, the best noise ever

Parents are nice
Some cold as ice
Sometimes can be mean
Like a machine
Some are big
Some are scary
Some are small
Sometimes hairy


Elliot Fenwick
New Waltham Academy

A rare hybrid
That everyone wants rid
A peculiar creature

They’re determined to me ya
They want to lurk
Around your work
Make sure they don’t eat ya

Slip, slop
You WILL drop
The slidey soap


New Waltham Academy

My Left Foot
Wriggle, wriggle
To and fro
Taking us everywhere
Your little toe

Wriggle, wriggle
Five random toes
Sometimes out free
Not offending your nose


Frantic and strange
Youthful energy
A fearful, fretful, fabulous fever

Joyously bizarre
Minds open
Allowing mental vistas
To spill out onto paper

1 comment:

  1. Quirky and filled with humor. I enjoyed reading these.